Back to School

Last Friday I had my feedback session with the admissions dean at KU.  I was a little nervous about it, but her feedback was very helpful and it is nice to know that my app is very fixable. There were basically two issues: 1. academic, 2. Service.

1. Academics:
She said that the committee liked me, but because I had a rough patch of bad grades - I have two C's in physics (long story, but I suck at math and had horrible professors) and a D in organic chemistry I - I should take more science classes. Even though I retook organic I and got a B, then got an A in organic II, which she said was impressive, I didn't take many science classes after that; just genetics and biochemistry.  She wants me to take two science classes per semester in order to continue my upward trend and to show that I can indeed handle them. I will also retake the MCAT so hopefully that will cover my bases for my academics.

It is a little frustrating because I have to work full time, so it is harder to keep up the A's - for me anyway. I know there are a lot of people that have to work while in school and do just fine without struggling and I wish I was one of them. I know quite a few people that just "get it" and don't have to try so hard and again, I wish I was one of them. I am a good student, but I have to work hard for my grades, and sometimes after working all day and going to class at night, I really don't have the mental energy to study.  I only have three hours to study at night, and that is on the nights I don't have to volunteer or have class. I am going to try a few things different this semester and I hope it pays off.  I am taking intro to microbiology and human anatomy and physiology.  There is a lot of memorization and a lot of concepts to understand, so it will require more time to study or finding a good way to study smart.  I look at this as a test - if I can get through these classes with A's, then I am ready for med school, and if I can't - then I am done.  I say this because I am nervous about being able to handle the load in med school.  I am afraid that I'm struggling because I'm not grasping the concepts, and I know part of it is because my study time is limited, but I do feel that I could work harder.  I also wonder if I am taking the wrong approach.  I think I might be trying to "remember" things when I should be trying to "understand"  them in order to remember them. I am going to come up with a study schedule and try to stick to it as much as possible and focus more on the concepts (where applicable) this semester. Let's hope it helps.


2. Service:
The dean mentioned that the committee didn't see how my desire to "serve" fit in, but yet my interviewers said that I only volunteer at a hospice because I work full time, so I am not sure how to take this.  It's like they understand that I work while taking classes and volunteer, but it isn't quite good enough.  I told her that I recently started volunteering at the Salvation Army, but then she said it really wasn't about how many hours I put in or how many activities I was involved it, it was more about understanding that being a doctor is about serving the community. ?  Well yeah, duh. So, this made me think that I just need to rework my application/essay about the hospice to reflect this - which I will do, but I still want to work with the SA.  I worked at the toy distribution center last year, and like an idiot forgot to put that down, but I am doing it again this year so will make sure to put it on my next application, plus I will be involved more throughout the year which will help me convey my desire to serve my community. 

This whole process is so frustrating and time consuming and can really mess with you.  It would be so easy just to say "I'm done," but that would be too easy.  Like I said earlier, I feel like this is a test for me - a test of will and desire.  If I am serious about this then I have to keep plugging along and if not then I will be weeded out and will have to decide what I want to do with my life.